Okay people this is how it works, if I receive enough replies regarding a particular topic then that problem along with all your mails will be forwarded to the offender. For example The Prime Minister, Editor of the Sun or God himself.

These are this months topics;

Why do so called socialist newspapers salivate over inconsequential idiots such as models, media stars and revoltingly wealthy individuals who have no concept of an ordinary persons life?

Why so called supermodels have as much flesh on them as a famine victim but are still considered major objects of desire?

Why obviously transparent boy bands with floppy hair and non-threatening smiles dominate the charts and the hearts of unsuspecting girls?

Irish bands whose success is based entirely on their ability to sing in their native accent.

Why GCSE exams are held in the beautifully hot summer and not the winter when everybody is stuck inside anyway?

Why does the UN put so much effort into policing Iraq and the Balkans and nothing into the past massacres in central Africa?

And could somebody please tell me what are 'transparent dangling carrots'?

I presume they are Rubber Johnies, any other ideas?

If you have any comments or suggestions please email me at

ScuMMer@fcmail.com

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